We often see ourselves (in our fantasies) surrounded by the most expensive cars, beautiful women or men, dressed in the fanciest suits, doing only what we want with only the people we want. We often think that we have to get somehting out of life, like our biggest goal as a human beign is to be famous, to win a lot of money and to spend time with the people who make us happy the most.
But after a prolonged session of heavy-minded overhtinking, we come to the conclusion that life is not a bright and alluring rose waiting to be plucked, but a bitter and cold lemon, which stands really hard for itslef everytime we want to squeeze something out of it. And we come down crying and getting into depression, driven only by the sole purpose of consuming goods, drugs and advertising that gives us the impression that we can have it all.
We think that life isn’t as it should be, that we don’t have what we want because the world sucks, or because our crush doesn’t respond to our messages, or because our parents don’t buy us the last Iphone, and so, we feel the need to change things. We say that the world is bad with us and we need more stuff to make us happy. The world isn’t good or bad, is just as it is, and we trying to change it is the most selfish act we could think of.
But let’s say that we can justify this “I have to change the world to be happy” paradigm. Maybe you had a selfish parent that drowned you in food to keep you around him because he thought his hapiness rooted in you. Maybe you attached so hard to a person that your entire world is revolving around them and the fact that that person chose to let you go made the world collapse over you. Maybe you simply didn’t have the right education and you grew up in poverty, developing a deep hatred for those who were rich and encouraged you to be rich only for a glimpse of what you used to call happiness.
Everyone who feels the need to change the world around them is coming from a place of lack. You want to be rich because you know how bad eating nothing tastes. You want to be surrounded with girls because you know that being lonely is fucked up. You want to have sex wit everyone because you were a porn-addict with nothing in mind but Remy Lacroix’ blowjobs. This whole paradigm of lack made you turn you head for short-term solutions provided by our societies: buy Viagra to cure your ED, buy expensive clothes and perfumes to attarct girls, buy self-help books and recorded seminars that teach you how to be rich, buy this and that, so that those who write them will gain money and you will gain only a short-term satisfaction.
But your happiness levels will still be the same. Just because you are now a modern Don Juan who runs five online-bussinesses simultanously while drivng in the last Ferrari with a head full of acid doesn’t mean that you are happy. And you feel it. You know you are still sad. That’s why massive overnight success-stories turn to drugs after they’ve discovered that having what they thought will bring happiness didn’t bring them anything but more responsability. So now you lie down, anally-raped by life, disgusted by everything and everyone, wondering why having everyhting doesn’t make you happy.
The problem here is thinking that happiness is like a pill to swallow. The problem is that you think that the outside can provide you with anything that you don’t already have. So you go on long trips to find happiness and you come back empty-headed and a strong-flavoured hangover that makes you hateful of alcohol.
So you start hating on the world. You start feeling that the world is mean, bad and full of terror, when in fact is nothing else than a giant playground. For some people it isn’t. Some people live in poverty, in hunger and hatred and nobody wants to help them because people are too self-absorbed. But think of it like this: maybe for those who live in hunger, family bonds and mutual understanding is more important than for those who cry about their crushes not answering their text-messages. Maybe the new-age mobile-phone obssessed assholes could learn a thing or two about family bonds from those who live in poor villages in Africa.
This is the world. The world is a big playground. Sometimes when you play on the slides you may trip and badly hurt your ass. And if you choose to stay down and be fucked by a slide, then you are an asshole.
If you blame the world for not having what you sefishly desire, you are an asshole. If you blame your crush for your own loneliness because she didn’t respond to you, you are an asshole. If you deliberately wait for someone to show their love to you without showing yourself first, you are an asshole. If you consantly lie to yourself as why you don’t help those who ask for your help and find excuses for why you can’t, you are… you guessed it. An asshole.
You are an asshole if yout think the word should give you things so you will be happy. You are an asshole if winning the lottery while sitting in bed and eating Cheetos is your goal in life. But what’s more important: you are an asshole if you think that happiness can only come from the outside.
Let’s put it like this: suppose you have a some-kind-of-future-girlfriend you are intereted in. And suppose you get out with her a few times, make her laugh, talk about stupid shit and suddenly, the idea that she has to be completely yours penetrates your head more than DiCaprio in Inception. You start thinking that just because she chose to spend some time with you, she is the chosen one. You read some blogs written by new-agey, sex-obsessed, pick-up dumb fucks that say that you shouldn’t be more invested in the relation than the woman. Assholes obsessed with one-night stand who don’t even have a concept for what a strong relationship should be based on. Reading this, you suddenly think that it’s her who should make the next moves, it’s her who should be more interested, it’s her who should wake you up in the morning with eggs and bacon. You get lazy and pretend to be uniterested. And you get really confused when she stops responding to you anymore.
You consciously chose to stop giving yourself to her. Some people don’t even know how to do this, so they will read hundreds of pages of attraction material and still have zero experience. Some people will pay hundreds of dollar to spiritual-law-of-attraction-to-make-your-life-expand books and seminars holded by some motivational speakers on cocaine.
Almost everything that surrounds us pushes us into thinking that we have to squeeze the juice out of life, when in fact, the juice it’s already there. It’s always been there. And you were always more preoccupied with changing the surrounding than changing your own self.
Gandhi said: Be the change you want to see in the world. And you know what? He changed the world, spread a fantastic philosphy of life, liberated thousands of Indians who lived under the feet of the British governemnt, and he managed to do all this dressed in fucking blanket. And he didn’t need self-help books, pick-up camps or Tony Robbins.
Gandhi chose to give the world what he always had: he had given it his ideas, his boldness and his philosphy. He offered himself to the world and received the realization of his dream.
If you want to change the world, stop wanting this. Choose to want to change yourself. Choose to stop being an ego-centrical maniac who wants only to manipulate those around him for his own gain. Offer yourself to the world.
We have a biological and psychological need of helping others. Yet sometimes we choose to do everything in order to have more and everyone else to have less, and we wind up lonely and sad and depressed. Forget about other people’s reactions and responses. Give them your help unconditionally. Show everyone you care about that you care abou them and be bold when you don’t care. Show everyone support and love. Be caring of those who ask you for favors. Give yourself to the fucking world, because only by doing this you will find true happiness in yourself.
But who said it was easy? Maybe you are a possessive dude, raised by parents who completely lacked empathy and compassion. Maybe you are selfish because you think that happiness comes from fucking everybody else. Maybe you don’t even think that helping others without them asking first is moral.
Or maybe you have an agenda that dictates you to be nice with everyone for yourpersonaly gain. Don’t be selfish. Only give without having the necessity to receive something. Give for the sake of giving. When was the last fucking time you shared something out of the pure pleasure of sharing it with everyone else? If you can’t even remember it, then you should start doing it more often.
Who loses when you show everyone support, compassion and help? You have nothing to lose, as you just offer, and they have nothing to lose as they can only win by being helped. Those who refuse your help, fuck them! Why do they matter? It’s their choices to accept or refuse and you can do nothing about that.
You can only offer. And whe you start offering, you will see that you already had what you have been asking for. You wil discover that you already had love, compassion, support, richness and fame. Only by giving what you have you will receive what can complete you. Only by giving it you will see that you already had it.